Step 1: The Poet's Canvas
go to big color balloon on bottom left side of screen and press it as hard as possible. there should be a sign that say something like "Lets Paint". take arrow and target the the sign so that it has no choice but to open for you:
(TIP OF THE TRADE: the device used to perform this magic is called a mouse, yes, but is the only animal on the face of the animal planet that is both animal and a computer.)
(TIP OF THE TRADE: the device used to perform this magic is called a mouse, yes, but is the only animal on the face of the animal planet that is both animal and a computer.)
Step 2: Squaring Off
when poet canvas has been completed, step back and survey all of exit points.
Remember now, the mouse is living thing and needs to eat and drink soda just like any other rat so give place for a tiny cookie and rc cola. so now getting back to the brass tags, take your mouse, lift it, and place it on the screen where the square is located. program will try and load child porn, so be fast or else computer will reboot and you will lose all child photography and funny video tape. save your progess, then let computer cool down by pouring water or pink lemonade all over it:
Remember now, the mouse is living thing and needs to eat and drink soda just like any other rat so give place for a tiny cookie and rc cola. so now getting back to the brass tags, take your mouse, lift it, and place it on the screen where the square is located. program will try and load child porn, so be fast or else computer will reboot and you will lose all child photography and funny video tape. save your progess, then let computer cool down by pouring water or pink lemonade all over it:
Step 2: Trimming the Pancake
the first 2 steps were for beginners but after that much experience you should be ready for intermedate level geogragy. after drawing perfect square, find the corners...this particular software places both corner BETWEEN each of the sides. using a piece of cheese, lure the mouse up to the eraser and hit the mouse so that it is stunned. target all 4 or 5 corner now that you have control of main tool of destruction (called "electronic chainsaw" for a reason in computer hacking circles i run deep into (yahoo, google, etc you get the point)) until eliminated from your picture. so you should now have something, or you wont have something that will will somewhat look like this:
Step 3: Hop-step the Lasso
before this step would be a good time to get a soda pop or go shuffle cards with Fred to take a break from curvy loop. when you come back please leave the soda on another table because this part requires big amount of concentration, even concentration camp (you camp out, then you concentrate).
now remeber the erasies you left in each corner for step 2? we need to redraw something in its place or the lines will have no way to become curvy loop. we call this part "hop-stepping the lasso" and it is one of the most important developments in all 21st centurys . before you lassoed anything, be sure that to saved everything or else computer might try to steal it from you to send to another machine, due to Directive 5 by the Obama Administration. after saving, go from each corner and hold down shift button to shift the odds in your favor. this puts you in good standings with job oppertunity to secure the lasso and begin hop-stepping with it, using the mouse to distract the program. when all is say and done, it should look exactly like this:
Step 4: Water into Wine
now we are getting into advanced string theory and deeper physics. it's called string theory because of how mouses like string, and their tail even kind of look like string. i undersatand if you cant keep up with everything but please follow my directions closely or else your loop will end up looking sloppy and might even leave you with an illegal violation on your records.
first click on the erasie and THIS time a window will come up that will ask you if you would like to install a virus.
Do NOT install!
after you close the window, stop here. Go find a gypsy and have it put a spell on progam so it contains magic to scare and frighten the children. For every child in the room you tickle, the computer will award you an extra megabyte, or gigasquirt. Now gypsy will do the rest of the work, while you sit back and count your money. 1....2...3...4, and maybe more depending on The Joe Biden Iniciative. Put your feet up and relax...time enjoy your final monent because of fact that you could die during the next step so why not relax? feet up: spirits up.
Do NOT install!
after you close the window, stop here. Go find a gypsy and have it put a spell on progam so it contains magic to scare and frighten the children. For every child in the room you tickle, the computer will award you an extra megabyte, or gigasquirt. Now gypsy will do the rest of the work, while you sit back and count your money. 1....2...3...4, and maybe more depending on The Joe Biden Iniciative. Put your feet up and relax...time enjoy your final monent because of fact that you could die during the next step so why not relax? feet up: spirits up.
Step 5: Double Trobouble
here we are, the final step! but keep in mind that this is also the HARDEST step so you might want to take another soda break and let the mouse out get some exercise and air before taking its own life in service of Noble cause. How Noble? we'll get back to that.
now you might be looking at what you completed in step 4 or 3 and saying to yourself that it look like perfect curvy loop already? Why go any further? I am better than the best cumpoter programers alreeady, etc, etc. Listen, I know you are. But this also couldn't be further from the truth. what you made in the other step was curvy loop, yes, but it is not perfect yet. here is the last thing you have to do to make perfect.
click the balloon from STEP 1 and violently shake to open up another poet canvas. TWO poet canvas!! Can you belive it? Not a trick, real science at here in work at your own computer lab. Test tubes, mixing, microscopes, experiments, all of it can gets scientific so look at the periodic table and mix the first two elements that look like it would best spell out your name or names so the computer can identify you by all the liquid you're about to throw on it.
perform a business click on the lasso and hover down to the center of the screen where youre clone is standing. At this point the computer looks exactly like you, like looking into big ugly mirror.
You now have 2 of everything! even 2 hands, so to cast dark magic clap both of your hands together and repeat after me:
"Old sailor....wiffle ball game.....ginger snaps, a bucket full of 1997 Original Air Jordan.......looop, did-a-deee LOOP! Mega Man Soccer."
A third computer should appear. Now the first computer is useless, throw it out. But keep the mouse, since it is impossible to clone live animal.
now hover over to box where it says "cut" and use mouse to cut it open with the rat teeth. Use your clone to double your vision, because now instead of one eye, you have 2 eye like double pirate on 2 ships.
perform a business click on the lasso and hover down to the center of the screen where youre clone is standing. At this point the computer looks exactly like you, like looking into big ugly mirror.
You now have 2 of everything! even 2 hands, so to cast dark magic clap both of your hands together and repeat after me:
"Old sailor....wiffle ball game.....ginger snaps, a bucket full of 1997 Original Air Jordan.......looop, did-a-deee LOOP! Mega Man Soccer."
A third computer should appear. Now the first computer is useless, throw it out. But keep the mouse, since it is impossible to clone live animal.
now hover over to box where it says "cut" and use mouse to cut it open with the rat teeth. Use your clone to double your vision, because now instead of one eye, you have 2 eye like double pirate on 2 ships.
move over the main canvas and hover over to the center of your curvy loop. mash the inside of it and then hover over to the button that says "paste". Here you must not only hit it with the the mouse, but you must do a business deal to secure the sequence and to prove to main program that you will not stand for any more tricks and gypsy balloon magic.
now the merging process will begin which should take about 30 or 40 or 125 minutes. when it is finished, a loud high pitched tone will erupt from your computer, signaling that your curvy loop has been completely perfected! if it is a low pitch, uh oh...time to get new computer! Obama is on his way, and the green shirts are already in position to rape tiny body.
Here's the final product:
Here's the final product:
Here is even a educational movie i made of this sequence to show you how hollywood or even gorge might direct this picture:
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