My Picks for A Golden Globe

Many people watch a golden globe.

Actors, Music Men, Science Guys, all True Champions compete in superdome to take over world. well let me tell you why right now, i dont think they deserve this whole planet....or even this whole country. this is biggest planet on earth, so why cover it in big piece of gold? What is even gold? If i cover myself in gold, do i become big planet? Its called The Great Mystery and nobody will ever know. What i do know is that such gold in globe should only given to man who undrstand superior logic of global finance, dog of wall st, curvy loop, jumanji picture, etc, etc, etc. Now, you may be say to yourself:

"Oh no, what is globe?"

Don't worry....i figure out magic globe for you. here are my picks for a owrldwide globes in gold contest:


When you were boy you thought he was just puppet grouch, but really he just small man who dress up like grouch. whenever i see oscar, he already covered in gold, so i think he would be perfect pick for cover whole planet in gold. ocsar is a tiny man, but his heart is very big and he care about me very much more than anyone else. he host his own show every year full of big cebrity like gorge, michael jodan, jimmy, and other who like ocar so much that they go into hot tub and drink martini with him. unfortunly, orcar win every show each year. if there are 1 or 2 things we know about cosar, its that he knows that showtime means a showtime! If somebody mean best picture, he'll draw you a very nice picture of a clown doing somersaults or of dennis the menace yanking on cat tail or something like that.


ewevrytime i see john cena, he always go: "cant you see me?"

i can see john cena almost everytime so his trick is working. being a trickman, or part of the trickster trade is very impotant part of movie business. sometime, a man like me or somebody be watching tv show when all of a sudden a man walk off the screen.

Where did he go?

i look behind  tv but hes nowhere to be found there. i look under bed and there only race car, lobster tail and things like that, but no tiny man from television. just when im abouit to break open tv to look for him he always come back and POP OUT and then i jump back and he go "I'm back! Im back! I'm back!" and i turn around in circles cause im so happy he didnt sneak into my room or kill my family.

in conclusion, this is why john cena aka Mr Muscles and would be skilled with gold globe which is in similarity to a golden wreslting belt, maybe 2 gold globe.

PICK #3: The Beatles

These Beatles are big band from London Kingdom and find it funny to make loud noises and are first ones to invented a stand that hold up microfone. world record for longerst hair are just among the many achievments that make them the greatest rolling stone of all time. since they win so many gold records, why not golden globe? Does Earth not spin like big record? Oi! Oi! Oi! Hit me with some of that good time jazz honk! Too loud for me to listen to so ive never heard them, but on a big world like a one made of gold, maybe it big enough that it wont be so loud anymore.

PICK #4: 12 Years A Slave

This was an extraordinarily powerful and visceral movie, one that that asks of us the important questions in life without beating us over the head with the cliche, emotional shortcuts that usually exist to undermine the depth of a story such as this. Steve McQueen's film, nominated for Best Drama, is based on the true story of Solomon Northup, a successful black businessman from New York State who is kidnapped and sold into slavery in the South but is eventually set free. This movie deserves to win not because of a lack of good competition, but because it is expertly crafted, possesses a wonderful sense of historical perspective (without getting too bogged down by it), and is executed by actors who sink perfectly into their roles. All of this comes together transcendentally, and takes the audience for a turbulent ride through 2013's best drama of the year. And what a ride it was. This movie deserves all of the praise it is getting, and deserves to be formally recognized for it's uncompromising tale of lives lost, freedoms gained, and unconditional love in a world under oppressive 19th century conditions.

PICK #5: The Yankees

The Yankess grab big stick and hit ball then other people run around while they chase ball and try to steal every base in stadium. If cant do that, then they blow yankee whistle and it time to jump into the crowd and hit women and children with baseball stick. this is called bunting, and it major reason why yankee game is only played by men with extended game plan. they sell popped corn, soda, nutmeg, and tiny bat that you can use at home to hit even your own ball...made of tinfoil, or maybe stick and paper clip from the rubbish pile in your backyard. they are the best at swinging The Big Stick, and they even get paid billion dollars for each ball they destroy. but if they get hit with ball then Uh OH! They die and masked man cartwheel onto field and scream "Get Out of Here!" "Get out of here!" "Get out of here!". then, that yankee never is to be seen again.

Where do he go? What happen to yankke?

I pick Yankee because they hit ball and ball is like globe so they are already experince enough for me of one made of gold i think. Cracker jacks, home field advantage, rah rah rah, big apples.....such things as these make boy into good yankee. yankee doodle is special type of yankee made of feathers and macoroni, but i'll include him because he team mascot.

PICK #6: The Yankee

I give the Yaknee 2 picks because if they miss the first ball then they're out, so i give them second globe just in case.

PICK #7: Chancellor Obama

Chancellor Barry Obadonna is tall dark man who was found playing baketball on court one day. joe biden come up to him one day and say:

"would you like to run economy and take over world?"

"Sure" he say. "As president i will make sure everybody change. nobody will ever be hungry. nobody will ever sleep. bear and bull market is pretty good, but i make sure men get around in horses instead of expensive magic box. Look at flag over there,...I even add one more color to it."

And just like that Chancellor Obby usher in new golden age of economic finance. one step from cover whole planet in gold, i believe. I even break into neighbor house and he come over and watch from the skies as i push their heads into swimming pool. Obobo is first gay president. he even have special task force that keep planet green, so why not him in charge of keeping planet made of gold? Obory is busy man, but even he have time to hide in my tv and watch me perform in mastrurbation chamber.

PICK #8: Cobra Infinity

Who is this? What's a Cobra Infinity? I am a Cobra Infinity and this is main site where i go into reviews and other ideas about what is the best golden globe. The reason i should win the globe is because i am the best actor of hollywood generation...better even than mr. hollywood himself. you may have heard gorge talk about me, or maybe you even have been to my web site, but i already made movie and even included some extra footage for dvd because i love my fans. 3d...4d....i shoot movie in all dimension so it dont matter what type of glasses you have on. 

most actors dont care about a little guy, but im different. ill go to your house even and shoot romance movie with you and wife right there, on the spot. im what's known as"The actors actor", which mean i act like im an actor. acting is just lying to lots of people, so instead of lying, i just tell the truth. Am i telling the truth? I'm not telling the truth. This is what's known as "Acting", and the actor's actor like me must only tell the truth if it involves lying about telling the truth. Actor is just like magician, and magical things happen during a light, camera, action.


8 Picks in 8 minutes, a speed read for all of you out there who don't have time to decide who should win for yourself. Don't worry, i can tell you all your opinion for you, so just go have a snack, go grab box of popcorn and enjoy the movie! i'll act like im right there in the room.

"hey i'm right there in the room" -Cobra Infinity

Did I actualy say that? Acting is like reading a book, except with pictures and globes.

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