Whole Foods Restaurant Review

Hi, since i was just in town for big parade i thought i would stop by next day and do restaurant review for nice place Jimmy told about called Whole Foods. they specilize in meat and sometimes dairy or cereal so i figured hey why not give it a shot in term of eating berry and local cuizine.

DECOR: 3 out of 5

when i came into place i asked one of the waiter if they could pull up a table for me. He said they dont have any tables which i found odd for big restaurant. If i was george clooney, how would i eat whole foods famous sandwich? Walking with it on way to next movie set is not any option because the minute he turn around the extras will try and steal it. That's why, alot of you might not know this is why but he only makes movies with people he trusts and he hires all of the extras himself. so in conclusion, i wasn't impressed with that factor of this restaurant.

One thing i did like is that when i walked into restaurant the doors opened automatically like somebody was holding the door open for me but i didn't see any one. i checked and asked the manager why they had ghosts or ghoul but he denied it which almost made me leave right then and there. but then i realized it was almost halloween and gave him a jimmy wink then moved onto next part of my first restaurant experience.

SERVICE: 1 out of 5

This goes hand in hand with decor except it has more to do with respect and honor instead of making sure doors open nice. since there were no tables i expected that man would pick me up and bring me to The Ordering Station for a look at the meat and lobster slices. when i try to climb into tall man's basket he says something mean and runs away while leaving me no transportation basket for the next wave of events. I wonder how they even expect people to know whats on the menu when nobody will even lead you to the menu to know whats on it in the first place?

There were lots of men wearing green shirts which i liked and understood so i went up to them and complained about the baskets but they told me that they weren't Transportation Basket and that i just had to walk where I needed to go. another check minus on the list.

when i finally go through the maze and get to meat factory there is a long line of people so i cut my way through and ask them to see a menu while i wait. the rude jerk tells me that i have to wait my turn in line and just look at the menu on the wall. can you imagine? One menu for 8 people? That would be like one big chair for 8 people or a toothbrush that brushes 8 teeth. so far i'm not really seeing what jimmy sees in this place.

FOOD: 4 out of 5

As much the service isn't so good but boy is the food is amazing! I decided after rude man told me to go away that i should just grab the boxy food i found on the walls of the maze. there is more food ive ever seen in my whole life! People even came up to me and gave me whole metal cages full of food that i never asked for. at first i thought i would have to eat it where they left it but then i examined struclture of it and realized it had roly polys underneath where you can scoot it through rest of maze as you eat it.

So i was starting to realize how Whole Foods worked. you just take metal roly and eat as you go, avoilding the people who chase after you. i have to admit i enjoy a big bag of frozen spagettii stick but it even tasted better while i made it through the maze. Here's a list of some of the foods i ate at my meal:

-box of bread

-1 cracker

-3 bites of boloney

-tube of toothpaste with extra whitning sauce

-a yellow 1st birthday balloon

-rock candy

-chickin meat from the bone

-a chicken bone

i like how everything was eat at your own pace and i didnt know whole foods was like big buffet. what i didn't like was that after you stopped and ate your meal that the men and sometimes woman continued to yell at you. I think this has something to do with everybody being the first to eat everything and they win a big prize. I couldn't be sure though, because they all went over to talk to men in green shirts but i didnt see any prizes in their hands so i walked away.

BATHROOMS: 2 out of 5

Just like the service, I was very dissapppointed with how the bathrooms turned out. As i went in i realized first that there was already other man in there who already taking up my space. he was trying to hide in a big booth they had put up to spy on me, i know it because the men in green shirts first don't give me a prize and now they want to humiliate me in front of everyone. i wasn't going to let it happen.

So i go up to the booth and ask him to please stop and if he doesn't then i will have to call the police for an illegal violation. he says hes not doing anything which is making me become so heated because I can see him trying to get naked and get me into position for the Green Shirts.

I leap over the barricade and start dipping this man's head into the toilet until he is the one who is humiliated! he finally decide to stop after trying to breathe underwater which no man can do making him foolish for thinking he could be the first one. i don't know whats coming next so i decide to hide in the empy barricade next to it and make doody while i wait for green shirt to come in and rape me. but then i realize the lock is broken which leaves me with not to much defenses so i decide to just leave. on my way out i notice they do have small air blaster which looks like fun if youre food is too wet and you want to come in here and dry it. i think that's one reason reason jimmy likes this place so much because when his balloons get wet from rainstorm he can just come here and dry them too so knowing that makes bathroom experience better but not good.

OVERALL: 3 out of 5

While i like that this place had free food and unique eating setting, i did not like how waiters made 8 people share one menu and then not even offer you Transport Basket. the halloween ghosts were nice touch but i would have like to better treatment from the real waiters who are not ghosts! most of the food i had was greatest food i ever have except for the rock candy which i expected to taste more like rocks but it actually taste more like candy. the bathrooms were very dissapointing but at least they had fun machine to solve problems. as my first restaurant ive visited, I would recommend this place to some people but not everybody and if your a first time restaurant like me please be warned that there are no prizes.