Jungle Man

I was at whole food picking up birthday baloons for dinner when i hear man over shoulder say "well i'll be a monkey uncle"

a monkey uncle? in my store? you wont beleieve how jacked off and humilated i felt...this ape had to go down hard. so i go up to bigfoot and say "hmmmmmmmm so if your uncle is monkey, then i curious why are coming around to restaurant only of human? i seen what happen when dunston check in, and it not all sunshine castles and candylands. there trees outside...im sure there are plenty of banaanas to pick in there"

just being kind and giving him chance to go back to jungle. but monkeyman seemed not ready for what was about to happen next, he go "what did you say? i cant understand anything youre saying". oh course he can't! monkey have own forest language, and cant understand complexity of street tough like me. maybe he'll understand language of fists better. so i sock him in the jaw, then take out box of nails and start hammering nails into his body. why did i do that? Because he was jerkin me around, and thought i was just out on the town just goin for a stroll. only weak men take stroll: im out in that town with a mission. i have that hammer and nail ready to go at all times in case of these type of nickenpoops. he tested me, and well guess what that wasnt such very good idea now was it Jungle Man.

 I cooked Jungle Man for dinner....he taste pretty goood but i still like the balloons better.

Life Meaning

I get a question it seem every other week that go like:

"Cobrae, how do you view life of ultimate meaning? is life being in simalarity to big Kurt Angle Day parade, or more of like long line for completion of personal wet bathroom business?."

Once in awhile i answer question, but most of the time i never speak to that person again. It about honor, dedication, and sometime life can be like one big yankee game where life and honor are the ball in infinite game of yankeeman catch. So i get a vision one day from Danny Glover where he come down and blow gaint loud foghorn and then i cover my ear because of it being too loud. He sit down in my bedroom while we discuss plans for my future, and what even a future is becuase i consider him for being biggest influence in ruthless pursuit of Transfer Sequence and of how to capture woman for extended stay in labratory.

So as i opening cold can of tomato soup he get big idea like "oh yea, i undersawand life and how it means"
So he write down blueprint of life, featuring equations and question mark and number anywhere from 1 to 11. i so amazed that i do big uppercut into his chin and do 3 or 4 cannonball backflips before reaching the ground. he didnt like that, so like angry genie he juyst leave his blueprint on table and forever maybe it go unfinished.

well long story short i black out and complete blueprints in my sleep or something and then i come to and well so here they are, here it is: the meaning of life meaning.....

Life Print Level 1:

Here you see the basics of life. Humprey's Corner, Dumbledore Casle, Nosy Greta's Baby Tamborine Land, all the type of thing you learn in basic school lesson. Within all the major system is contained LIFE, which stand for Landing In Freeform Endless. Just kidding, it obvious it dont stand for any thing. That was a test, and you get check minus!

 As you related to previous lesson abouts curvy loop, your life and in fact all life is contain inside globe within other skinny curvy that barely defined within outer limit of Danny Glover jurisdiction. He cant help you any more, and you will be forced to find other jungle man who has been in movie. From here out we know that all perception of knowledge truly end in Nosy Greta's Baby Tamborine Land (for example: why nosy greta so nosy? would be nosy to ask such question, turnig you into a little nosy greta yourself!). Here on you will have to continue without knowledge of other knowledge, a task whicvh make you much like Hellen Keller in juggling competition, or Anne Frank playing big game of hide and go peek. Do you feel hopeless yet? I hope so. That just your brain submitting to larger more meaningful brain. But we just getting started. How do you figure you go entire life without learning about beyond entirety? Without learning (7)zbark? Ridiculous!! Almost laugable at attempt by subnoble creature to obtain Gold Globe without understanding of how it relate to Larger Systems. Moving on...

Life Print Level 2 (Larger Systems):

Now we begin to explore larger 4D sysytems, where meaning is create by interaction of curvy loop, PURE ENERGY, Duncan Hoop, and from there lathered and shaved into proper form for Horsechop 5. Of course, all of larger systems are false math equation, one big ruse.....a set up for Horsechop to steal all of top signal gravy and convert it into pure heartsmoke d/04. This is known as The Great Horse Conspiracy, and I can't stop talking about it. Decoy Universe you plainly see in center is actually perfect heartsmoke crystal, and while geometricly perfect, you must not fall for back room pony prank! What you need do is create false perimeter using junc1 and junc 2, then all Duncan will have to work with is unmanagable0!...this will no doubt bring Horsechop to a halt and bring shame onto whole steed and donkey family . you have now only curvy loop of PURE ENERGY which create infinite substrate of Meaning (after all, that what brought you here in the first place, do i lie?).

 How to transcend infinity you ask? Wouldnt life be over before finding meaing you ask? When do I get to go to bathroom you ask? Remember, this is timeless system, so if concentrate hard enough, you can pass through infinity an infinity amount of times before infinity even begin. Now you have find meaning of life before even finding meaning of life, a 4D shortcut that buff up meaningless 3D body into true Life Champion. Do you undersawand why you run life like giant curvy loop? why baby is born and poppy get soggy in his shorts? before and after have no meaning in 4D circle parade, but what about meaning of meaning of life.....why come all this way? Meaning of Life can be found between toenail, in backround code of any Jumanji movie, and is kiddy dingles compared to what i about to demonstate. Here where things start to get complicated, and definition begin to lose defining notion, so put another feather in your cap and come with me...

Life Print Level 3 (The Trisquangle):

All bets are off! Do you have any idea what going on here? cause i certaintly dont.

That is the true mystery of the trisquangle. You can see it, you can taste it, you can smell it, touch it, feel it, but danny glover forbid if you can taste it or see it. buddy, we operating on pure instinct alone. This is point where logic being to trick itself, and you find yourself starting to deconstruct curvy loop just to pray hope find single piece of taffy that dont exist in 8 dimensions! when this happen, i close my eyes and stare straigteht into the Bruncle. Bruncle-be good, Bruncle be true. Bruncle be me, and Bruncle be you!!! HAHAHA!!! see, Bruncle based jokes make me laugh myself into alternate future where laughter dont exist.

We're loosing you. I can feel the Bruncle pulling you in. That okay, bruncle okay. What color is bruncle? since you been looking at bruncle for about 2 minute already, you should know what color bruncle is. But that right, we both just remembered and will remember that time and knowledge don't exist past top of Dumbledore Castle. How do I know this and how can i know this? i know cause i don't know it, and this is true beauty of bruncle, as we find ourselves united in absolutinating paradoxythetical state of life being. Here where we find out truth that this is just internet site. there is no bruncle. There no meaning of meaning of life.....there is not even such thing as oxflop, or primbo9. I guess it was all for nothing. and iff all for nothing then what is meaning of meaning of life? Meaning of Meaning of Life is nothing. It mean nothing. i cant tell you how much filled with dissapointment. It all mean nothing. And if meaning of meaning of life mean nothing, then lets continue now that you've gotten that out of your system. You have no choice to but to accept my tricks and keep moving or else you'll get caught up living in castle made of past thought instead of building castle consisting of next second thought. If you let me think for you this far, dont be surprised when i lock you in cage and subject you to ruthless masturbation chamber. In game of Meaning, reader safety mean nothing and nothing mean everything to everyone except you. Why you not accept constant punishment for future disobedience? Did i not teach you lesson about beginning before beginning begins? Do you not understand that in world of true meaning of meaning of life, there is nothing left to obey? How dare you! I will make sure to be extra rough during your stay in the chamber, severity level infinite due to alpha-omega state of metaphysical mutiny. Once I'm done with you, you'll never know that I'm about to begin, which is really the point.

Has you been experience of infinite nothing? Can i get you rc cola or glass or 2 of puppet milk? We've finally reaching point where all waves break into larger wave of own becoming. Like origami paper unfolding to become the origomist, Tree branch branching off into tree branch branching off into fractal set repeating. Just as you get over the wall, you find out that wall was trying to get over you!! Just as you try to answer question, answer was already question in bigger game of Truth or Dare Jenga. look, you can never win. Which is important in figuring out ultimate loss you sustain in Life Print 4: The Meaning of Meaning Life Meaning.

Life Print Level 4 (Oborby):

Finally we get to final meaning of meaning of life meaning. The top of the pops, best of the best of the best, the bork of the spork, Jimmy's wet balloon. Why you come all this way....why you trust me even after extended stay in masturbation chamber? You curious like big jungle cat, that why. you want awnswers that you can't give yourslef since question just lead to other answer that you question again in endless game of boggle jr.

 HEre it is. I lied to you, and for that I am very sorry that you are easily believe my lies. And by now you should know that apology is only there to make me seem like I am caring individual, and for that I am very sorry. The truth of matter is.....we never left Horsechop 5. I keep tell you not to fall for back door pony prank! This is one thing I learn from Baraky Trombombo, he change everything on us so i change everything on you. Meaning of life is of one big decoy, greater than even horse conspricay, and rather expansive drain on cobra infinity general spirit. But it get even better. Rember this?

"...but just be warn that there no such thing as a free ride."

Yes that right, even decoy universe cost money. you think life meaning come free?? Ridiculous!! I have you down for infinity search for life meaning, which mean you owe obory, nosy greta and all the rest 43% of heartsmoke infinity. you have until before beginning of forever to pay me, or orbory will send stampede of horse and pony to come and rape tiny meaningless body.

Rember when I tell you that life is like giant curvy loop? Well in this case it actuarlly more like trisquangle, and you made classic mistake of looking directly at Bruncle. It just basic geogretry.

My Picks for A Golden Globe

Many people watch a golden globe.

Actors, Music Men, Science Guys, all True Champions compete in superdome to take over world. well let me tell you why right now, i dont think they deserve this whole planet....or even this whole country. this is biggest planet on earth, so why cover it in big piece of gold? What is even gold? If i cover myself in gold, do i become big planet? Its called The Great Mystery and nobody will ever know. What i do know is that such gold in globe should only given to man who undrstand superior logic of global finance, dog of wall st, curvy loop, jumanji picture, etc, etc, etc. Now, you may be say to yourself:

"Oh no, what is globe?"

Don't worry....i figure out magic globe for you. here are my picks for a owrldwide globes in gold contest:


When you were boy you thought he was just puppet grouch, but really he just small man who dress up like grouch. whenever i see oscar, he already covered in gold, so i think he would be perfect pick for cover whole planet in gold. ocsar is a tiny man, but his heart is very big and he care about me very much more than anyone else. he host his own show every year full of big cebrity like gorge, michael jodan, jimmy, and other who like ocar so much that they go into hot tub and drink martini with him. unfortunly, orcar win every show each year. if there are 1 or 2 things we know about cosar, its that he knows that showtime means a showtime! If somebody mean best picture, he'll draw you a very nice picture of a clown doing somersaults or of dennis the menace yanking on cat tail or something like that.


ewevrytime i see john cena, he always go: "cant you see me?"

i can see john cena almost everytime so his trick is working. being a trickman, or part of the trickster trade is very impotant part of movie business. sometime, a man like me or somebody be watching tv show when all of a sudden a man walk off the screen.

Where did he go?

i look behind  tv but hes nowhere to be found there. i look under bed and there only race car, lobster tail and things like that, but no tiny man from television. just when im abouit to break open tv to look for him he always come back and POP OUT and then i jump back and he go "I'm back! Im back! I'm back!" and i turn around in circles cause im so happy he didnt sneak into my room or kill my family.

in conclusion, this is why john cena aka Mr Muscles and would be skilled with gold globe which is in similarity to a golden wreslting belt, maybe 2 gold globe.

PICK #3: The Beatles

These Beatles are big band from London Kingdom and find it funny to make loud noises and are first ones to invented a stand that hold up microfone. world record for longerst hair are just among the many achievments that make them the greatest rolling stone of all time. since they win so many gold records, why not golden globe? Does Earth not spin like big record? Oi! Oi! Oi! Hit me with some of that good time jazz honk! Too loud for me to listen to so ive never heard them, but on a big world like a one made of gold, maybe it big enough that it wont be so loud anymore.

PICK #4: 12 Years A Slave

This was an extraordinarily powerful and visceral movie, one that that asks of us the important questions in life without beating us over the head with the cliche, emotional shortcuts that usually exist to undermine the depth of a story such as this. Steve McQueen's film, nominated for Best Drama, is based on the true story of Solomon Northup, a successful black businessman from New York State who is kidnapped and sold into slavery in the South but is eventually set free. This movie deserves to win not because of a lack of good competition, but because it is expertly crafted, possesses a wonderful sense of historical perspective (without getting too bogged down by it), and is executed by actors who sink perfectly into their roles. All of this comes together transcendentally, and takes the audience for a turbulent ride through 2013's best drama of the year. And what a ride it was. This movie deserves all of the praise it is getting, and deserves to be formally recognized for it's uncompromising tale of lives lost, freedoms gained, and unconditional love in a world under oppressive 19th century conditions.

PICK #5: The Yankees

The Yankess grab big stick and hit ball then other people run around while they chase ball and try to steal every base in stadium. If cant do that, then they blow yankee whistle and it time to jump into the crowd and hit women and children with baseball stick. this is called bunting, and it major reason why yankee game is only played by men with extended game plan. they sell popped corn, soda, nutmeg, and tiny bat that you can use at home to hit even your own ball...made of tinfoil, or maybe stick and paper clip from the rubbish pile in your backyard. they are the best at swinging The Big Stick, and they even get paid billion dollars for each ball they destroy. but if they get hit with ball then Uh OH! They die and masked man cartwheel onto field and scream "Get Out of Here!" "Get out of here!" "Get out of here!". then, that yankee never is to be seen again.

Where do he go? What happen to yankke?

I pick Yankee because they hit ball and ball is like globe so they are already experince enough for me of one made of gold i think. Cracker jacks, home field advantage, rah rah rah, big apples.....such things as these make boy into good yankee. yankee doodle is special type of yankee made of feathers and macoroni, but i'll include him because he team mascot.

PICK #6: The Yankee

I give the Yaknee 2 picks because if they miss the first ball then they're out, so i give them second globe just in case.

PICK #7: Chancellor Obama

Chancellor Barry Obadonna is tall dark man who was found playing baketball on court one day. joe biden come up to him one day and say:

"would you like to run economy and take over world?"

"Sure" he say. "As president i will make sure everybody change. nobody will ever be hungry. nobody will ever sleep. bear and bull market is pretty good, but i make sure men get around in horses instead of expensive magic box. Look at flag over there,...I even add one more color to it."

And just like that Chancellor Obby usher in new golden age of economic finance. one step from cover whole planet in gold, i believe. I even break into neighbor house and he come over and watch from the skies as i push their heads into swimming pool. Obobo is first gay president. he even have special task force that keep planet green, so why not him in charge of keeping planet made of gold? Obory is busy man, but even he have time to hide in my tv and watch me perform in mastrurbation chamber.

PICK #8: Cobra Infinity

Who is this? What's a Cobra Infinity? I am a Cobra Infinity and this is main site where i go into reviews and other ideas about what is the best golden globe. The reason i should win the globe is because i am the best actor of hollywood generation...better even than mr. hollywood himself. you may have heard gorge talk about me, or maybe you even have been to my web site, but i already made movie and even included some extra footage for dvd because i love my fans. 3d...4d....i shoot movie in all dimension so it dont matter what type of glasses you have on. 

most actors dont care about a little guy, but im different. ill go to your house even and shoot romance movie with you and wife right there, on the spot. im what's known as"The actors actor", which mean i act like im an actor. acting is just lying to lots of people, so instead of lying, i just tell the truth. Am i telling the truth? I'm not telling the truth. This is what's known as "Acting", and the actor's actor like me must only tell the truth if it involves lying about telling the truth. Actor is just like magician, and magical things happen during a light, camera, action.


8 Picks in 8 minutes, a speed read for all of you out there who don't have time to decide who should win for yourself. Don't worry, i can tell you all your opinion for you, so just go have a snack, go grab box of popcorn and enjoy the movie! i'll act like im right there in the room.

"hey i'm right there in the room" -Cobra Infinity

Did I actualy say that? Acting is like reading a book, except with pictures and globes.